It’s funny how you can try and prepare yourself for something only to have those preparations flipped upside down.

At the back of my mind it was always the thought that my father, with his dodgy heart and some-time crazy driving, would be the one to die suddenly, with my mother going into a home and passing sometime later. Instead it was my mother who died suddenly and after the confusion from my father’s fall three weeks’ ago hasn’t improved, it looks like social services want to put him into some sort of home.

Good luck to them trying, he always enjoyed his independence (dodgy knee notwithstanding). If the current thinking of Alzheimers is correct that will be the second one for the family (my grandmother was in homes for 10 years before pneumonia finally got her). My grandmother was visited every week by family, I’d like to do the same for my father but I don’t know where they’ll place him or whether it will be practical (I will feel guilty either way) and am not sure whether I am strong enough to do it. The thought of him missing out on the upcoming cricket season is upsetting enough (we’re a strange family, I’ll admit it). Watching someone disappear slowly is a terrible thing, I’m not sure it isn’t worse than a sudden loss.