Category Archives: divorce

Dripping water

No, not a post about my new washing machine (which has a bigger load capacity than the old one, a time delay, and is generally just marvellous), but about delays with the divorce once more.

I signed the consent order (the last thing now required for the divorce to be granted and me being allowed to get on with my life) on 16 May and sent it back to my solicitor (along with yet another cheque). They call me on 21st May to confirm receipt and that it was sent on for the other signature the same day.

That was four weeks ago, so I e-mailed my solicitors to say “WTF?”. Apparently the other solicitors sent it on for signature 6th June. What did they do with it for the two weeks since they received it? Still no sign of it back with my solicitor, but they did at least chase yesterday (according to them).

How can it take 3 days for me to send socks to the US (in the time this has taken I have killed one person and received SIPs back, all via international mail), yet a piece of paper sent to a location 40 miles away takes over 4 weeks to get back to its starting point (Reading, London, Reading, Reading…….). Once received it still needs to be filed with the courts and agreed with the judge, which could take another 4 weeks. For an uncontested divorce it’s now been 10 months from separation and 8 months since proceedings were started. All of which I’ve spent living in my own spare room.

Internet update

In my absence the original router has been restored, which means I can access the page that says whether it is connected to the web using the IP address. However, the wi-fi isn’t working (so I have to hard-wire to access the internet, and the router is located in not my bedroom) and the password has been changed so I can’t tun the internet through my router (which is located in a communal area). So no internet for me, then.

Strictly Come Musicals

The CTBF London Party was last night and as usual Sam, Cadsy and myself got on our glad rags and graced it with out presence. I wasn’t really in the mood for a party as I’d had not a good night, followed by returning home to find an invoice from my solicitor and a letter from the other side which looked suspiciously like the correspondence sent to them over two weeks early (more delays, I doubt it will ever end and allow me to get on with my life). However, a good bit of laughing at Americans on TV and getting ready got me into the party spirit.

The theme this year was Strictly Come Dancing meets Musicals and there were an awful lot of tin men and Chicago people around (and one penguin), with a highlight being Starlight Express (yes, they all wore the rollerskates). The food was good, and the performances by Vincent and Flavia were spectacular (and they’re tiny). A bit of dancing, a bit of watching people on rollerskates fall over, then back in a taxi across town for a well earned rest. The traditional 5 course breakfast followed in the morning (cereal, toast, cooked foods, more toast, yoghurt), then it was back on a train home to see the cat.

In line with the economic slowdown the goodie bags had shrunk somewhat from previous years:

CTBF pictures

Further soliciting

Yes it’s a Monday, which means more calls to my solicitor (it seems that the second time I call I actually get through, leaving messages doesn’t seem to do anything). I finally got confirmation on Friday that the finances have been agreed and now it’s time for more legal documentation. This time it’s the drafting of a consent order which needs to be agreed and signed by both parties, and then agreed by the courts. Following that I actually have to pay the money out (my parents are loaning me what I don’t have) and the decree absolute can finally be applied for and granted.

Timeframe on the consent order being agreed by the courts is apparently about 5 weeks, so I may actually get my house and my name back by the end of June – only 9 weeks late. From start to finish that’ll be over 10 months from separation to divorce, and this was a relatively easy one (uncontested). Sigh.

Good news? Bad news? News

I finally managed to speak to my solicitor today (and approved the letter with my final offer). It turns out that they haven’t applied for the decree absolute (like they had initially said they would) because the financial settlement is still outstanding and it might complicate things.

She said that they would only normally do so if there was an urgency in marrying someone else. I replied that I was asking as it was the only way to get my house back (I am fed up of living in the spare room, but didn’t actually say that). Ah, yes. Suddenly she sees my point of view and the potential for this to drag out indefinitely.

The letter’s been faxed today as a final offer and there will be a follow up next week if there is no response saying that we’ll be going to court.

I’m hoping that there will be resolution soon, but “soon” is a moveable feast which keeps being put back and back, and I’m fed up of my parents asking every week if I have the house back yet.

Long Day

Started off being woken up after not enough sleep. It had snowed again, which was pretty. Unfortunately that seemed to have caused havoc on the railways and we all got to play platform ping-pong for 25 minutes until a train eventually arrived which we could cram on to.

Busy day at work, with my entire afternoon (in fact 6 and 3/4 hours) being spent sorting out extensions (there are no minions). Fun, fun, fun. Meanwhile the other work piled up with people asking where there stuff is and colleagues offloading their work “Can you do this tomorrow, and this, and this?” I wonder what would happen if I said no? Stupid professional pride making me care even when I’m leaving.

They were also talking about weddings today, which as a soon to be divorcee (please let it be soon) isn’t something I can get excited about. But I kept my mouth shut and just raged internally instead. I need to get some space from the end of this relationship as it’s still very raw, but that can’t be done while we’re living in the same house.

Got naggeed into putting my MrBollox pattern on Ravelry, only to be told that I can’t use fak as my designer name as it’s too short and reserved in case a knitting machine manufacturer wants it. That’ll need thinking about. I do have a couple of other designs ready to go up, but don’t want to have to call myself fakoriginal again, and am definitely not using my real name (at least not if it is linked to my Ravname). Ho hum.

Time to go home and, well the plan was to buy food on the way but the walkable shops will be closed and I don’t think driving’s a good idea, so crash out instead. Better play with the cat a bit as I’ve just booked her into the vet’s for her vaccinations which entails a walk along a couple of busyish roads. She seems to like it once she’s there, though. Lots of things to sniff and knock over.

 Tired now. Knitting to do. 

Hmm

Finally got the job offer I’ve been waiting for. It’s not quite what we discussed (being more temporary in nature), but it might still work out in the long run and would give me a chance to earn money to pay my parents back however much they’re going to have to lend me for the divorce settlement.

Five more Fridays…

…but six more weeks.

That’s another Friday down, only five more to go (since my last day is a Thursday). Of course, I’ll be working this weekend and next (full days), but hey, it’s something.

Finally got a response from my solicitors today. A very junior (and very scared sounding) boy called to confirm receipt of my instructions and cheque (damn right). It remains to be seen whether they will act upon my instructions next week or wait for the appropriate staff member to return from holiday, but at least they’ve got it this time (third time lucky is correct).

Work have finally announced that I have resigned (6 weeks ago), so I can be openly happy about leaving. If I hadn’t already then this week would have finished me off. The list of (I don’t want to call us rats) leaving the ship is pretty impressive. In one go they’re losing a senior manager, two managers (though one has been persuaded to move internally), two assitant managers (again, one is an internal transfer), a consultant, and a secretary. It’s not like the department is huge, either. Ah well, not my problem. I almost feel sorry for those left behind since they are already horrendously overworked, but nah. Fuck ’em.

Finally got back to my knitting yesterday having done nothing for a week. I tidied up my queue at Ravelry, then spotted a rather nice peacock based shawl that some purple laceweight silk would go well with, so it all got reorganised. Peacocks are, of course, evil, but I have a soft spot for them so hopefully it’ll knit up well. But not before I finish the project I’m currently on, the one after that (which I need by EJC), and the one I’m going to knit at Bungay. That’s just the big projects, mind, and doesn’t include 3 presents due on various days.

Hopefully my knitzi will arrive soon and I can start knitting socks during my commute without fear of breaking needles (though I am planning on switching to metal DPNs). When asked what I wanted as a leaving present, yarn was mentioned, so I requested sock yarn, from iKnit. You can never have too much sock yarn. Especially now I’ve got a stitchionary and a whole book about them. I just have to fit them in around the lace. 

Am I on candid camera?

It seems to me that someone is playing a trick on me to see just how much stress one person can take.

As if the run up to April 15th weren’t hectic enough, not only am I managing the people below me, and my own work, I also have to manage the people above me (which means that none of my work is actually getting done, particularly since I can’t work late without risking losing days in bed, ill). What I really needed, therefore, was for an argument about who was authorised for services on my main client to blow up. I was never involved in this but am the only person available to dig into it all and try and calm people down. Great.

On top of which I seem to have every client ever requesting status updates, which means that my time is spent chasing other people instead of actually doing work (when I’m not ranting on blogs, that is).

Divorcewise, I dutifully sent off the cheque and instructions (the previous 2 sets of which had been lost) to my solicitor on Monday, with a note for them to call me when the package was received (so many packages and e-mails have been lost). No call yet, so I phone the office. The person dealing with my case is on holiday, the person covering their work is too busy to talk to me, but they will send me a note if they’ve received my cheque. So if they haven’t, exactly how long is it going to take them to work that out? This is only the first counter-offer on the divorce settlement, which I instructed them about on 13 March, there could be several offers backwards and forwards until it is resolved and the divorce is supposed to be being finalised in under 3 weeks (with payment 4 weeks after that). The financial arguments could delay the divorce being finalised, or they might not. I don’t know how much money I’m going to have to raise, or in how short a space of time. I don’t know when I’m going to be able to get my house to myself. Oh, and my solicitor is on leave until a week on Monday, the 14th, just over a week before the divorce is supposed to be finalised. Marvellous. The other side are bound to get arsey because they won’t have had a response in a month despite the fact that I responded on the same day as I got the letter from my solicitor. 

All of which is delaying my pre-registration for EJC as names on credit cards need to match up. Swell.

Idiots

I am surrounded by idiots. Not only are my solicitors a waste of money (losing letters, cheques, e-mails and not appearing to be putting my best interests first), but it appears that everyone at my current place of employment is incompetent too.

As part of the move to the new building everyone is required to log in to their desk by 10:00. This isn’t co-ordinated say through logging in to your phone or computer. Oh no. You have to log in either by scanning your barcode at one of the two kiosks on your floor (yes we all have barcodes now), or through the online system. I’m sure this would work fine if either of the kiosks worked, or the online system didn’t crash. So, having spent over half an hour trying to log in to my desk so that no-one else tries to book it as a hotdesk, I’ve been bumped out of it. That’s going to be a fun argument if someone turns up trying to work.

Technical issues aside, the people don’t seem any more sensibly wired. I’ve only been gone for 3 working days and yet had over 120 e-mails, most of which, having gone through them, are questions of the most idiotic type which funnily enough I can answer with minimal thought. On my biggest client apparently the senior manager had a right panic and infected everyone else with it over what turned out to be absolutely nothing. Goodness knows how they will cope when I’m gone (just under seven weeks to go).

I will post about the BJC later, but I want to do that when I’m in a good mood and not despairing at the future of the human race.